


Again.

by DeepBlueRhombus



Series: Anxiety, Friendship, and Cake [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Anxiety, Friendship, Gen, Mystery, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:13:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25869475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeepBlueRhombus/pseuds/DeepBlueRhombus
Summary: Bernadetta, Dedue, and Lysithea fight ghosts.  Some literal, mostly figurative.
Relationships: Dedue Molinaro & Bernadetta von Varley, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & Dedue Molinaro, Lysithea von Ordelia & Bernadetta von Varley
Series: Anxiety, Friendship, and Cake [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1877353
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	Again.

**Author's Note:**

> This story begins about two and a half weeks after the events of “Conspiracy and Cake”. The first two sections of this story reference those events, but you don’t need to have read that story to understand this one.  
> If you did read it, be forewarned that I’d intended for this to be similarly comedic but ended up with a more angsty story.

#### A Coda as an Introduction. Dedue.

Tonight is a cake night with Bernadetta, and so it will be a good night.

When I apologized to Sylvain for leading him on a misguided, impromptu assault on the heir to the Adrestian Empire he told me that it was “Okay” and that I just needed to “chill out”. I have come to have some reservations about the scion of Gautier in the time I have know him, but in this I think he is wiser than I. Consequently, I have negotiated to make my midnight outing with Bernadetta a weekly occurrence. I feel guilty to leave Dimitri unguarded on these nights, but I must admit that I feel uncommonly calm as the hour of our meetings approach and remember them with fondness afterwards.

Sylvain additionally offered to once again “hook us up with some ladies” as long as I promised not to “chop them up in a fit of paranoia”. I believe he is sincere in the former. I pray the latter is meant as a joke. As my devotion to His Highness permits no distraction of other partners, it is with some relief that I had good excuse to decline his offer.

#### Better. Bernadetta.

I may not have become a stronger, better, more normal Bernadetta like I promised, but at least I have *a* friend. That’s normal… except for the part where I only see him at midnight. So, I’m weird. Too bad. I’m not going call myself bad and stupid here right now, no matter how much my Diary is judging me.

I think I might have made a second friend, too!

Tonight, as I made my way towards the dining hall for my midnight meal, there was a shriek from the hedges to my right, down by the fishing pond. I ran to see what had happened, and as I turned the corner of the hedgerow I found Lysithea.

She let out a scream and tried to run away, only to stumble and fall to the ground. It’s strange to see someone who isn’t me do that.

“B- Bernadetta.” She said. “Oh.” She smoothed her dress with her hands and slowly made her way back to her feet.

I started to say “Oh, H-hi-“, as she said “I didn’t-“ I stopped. I’m terrible at this. I was convinced she was thinking I was super annoying and awkward.

I guess she didn’t, because instead she said “I didn’t- I mean- I didn’t… You didn’t hear me-“.

First she’s acting like me, now she’s sounding like me? I hope being me isn’t contagious.

“Oh.” She sighed. “There’s no point. You saw me. You heard me.”

“I- I don’t really know what I saw.” I said.

She scowled. “I try so hard to make everyone not see me as a little kid, yet here I am screaming at shadows like I need to be tucked in bed with a candle to keep the room lit. None of them take me seriously behind my back, I just know it.” She glared at the base of the hedge, not meeting my eyes, and I was surprised that it didn’t catch fire or just disintegrate. If her rage wouldn’t do the job, her magic certainly could.

It’s so weird to hear the smartest and… third?... scariest student in the school talking like me. I was still standing there saying nothing like an idiot, so blurted out, “I... won’t tell anyone?”

It was the right thing to say. She smiled.

“W-what are you doing out here?” I got lucky on that one, but I never know what to say. “W-where are you going?” Stop stuttering, Bernie!

She smiled again and it was beautiful. Maybe a little sheepish. She looked down at her shoes, but kept smiling and said, “To the dining hall. I like to grab some sweets as a midnight snack.”

“Oh!” I was in her way! “Me too! I’m sorry. I’ll leave now and you can have the dining hall.”

Lysithea giggled, a sound I’d never expect from her. I mentally added it to the list of things I was promising to never tell anyone. “No! Come with me! There’s room for two people there!”

I didn’t! This conversation was going fine, but the longer it goes on the worse I’ll feel. I couldn’t say no, though, so I stood there frozen. I was sure she was going to decide I was stupid- or, worse, that I was thinking she was a stupid little kid and she hates me!

Instead, she put out a hand. “Please?”

“Uh- ok?”

She smiled a second time. “Come on. You can keep those scary shadows away. I wouldn’t want to embarrass myself again.”

“O- ok?” No. New Bernie could do this. I stepped forward. “Let’s go!” It’s easier to be walking. I don’t need to think about what to do with my hands or face. I’m just looking where I’m walking and occasionally glancing at her to show I’m paying attention.

“So, what do you eat on these midnight expeditions?”, she asked.

Later, as we were both eating cake, she gave me a funny look. “Bernadetta, you like creepy things, right?”

#### Seeking Allies. Lysithea.

He seems kind, but I’m sure the professor was laughing at me behind my back when I told him I was scared of ghosts. I was right, though! Twice after that conversation a ghost has attacked me while I was going to the dining hall.

I should probably tell the professor, or Claude, but I won’t. If they didn’t believe me it would be humiliating, and if they did, well… I’m capable. I don’t need to go running to the heads of our class to help me with every little thing. I’ll let them know about this after I’ve taken care of it myself, or at least done enough research to know that it’s beyond my capabilities.

Bernadetta, though. She already knows, and I bet she wouldn’t be scared of ghosts. I got a peek into her room while borrowing a textbook from her once. She almost fainted answering the door, but she’s just scared of people. Her room? Full of creepy dolls and spooky things. I bet she’d chase after a ghost if she saw one.

She’s nice, too. I just need to figure out a way to suggest that we investigate this as… a research proposal. Like any normal student would be doing. Extra credit. I don’t want her to think that I’m just asking her to protect me from the scary imaginary monsters so I can get a slice of cake. There’s nothing wrong with seeking allies.

#### Three’s a Crowd. Bernadetta.

Lysithea asked me to have midnight dessert with her again, and I went along. Then I asked her to go and she said yes!

It’s weird to be doing the same thing with two separate people, but I haven’t told her I’m doing the same thing with Dedue. I don’t want to be outnumbered. They’ll join together and make fun of me, I’m sure of it.

I still like hanging out with Dedue better. He’s so quiet and direct and we can just sit and eat in silence if we want. Lysithea is constantly talking and I feel like I have to participate or she’ll think I’m too dumb to hold a conversation.

Still, two friends! And I get out of my room to talk to them twice a week!

#### Matters of Security. Dedue.

I have been thinking about the embarrassing incident at the start of the school year. I must do better. My attempts to chill out have been unsuccessful, however. Every hour that passes where Dimitri isn’t under my eye I find myself growing more nauseous and scared. Part of me feels that if I’m not there to protect him, some day I will return to the dormitory and it will be on fire and everyone I know will be dead. Again.

This is a problem. I must be rational, and not a political embarrassment, to do my job.

To this end, I have talked to His Highness about my concerns. He was more understanding than I deserve. We have arranged a schedule so that I will know where he is and when I will next be able to check on him. As a practicality, this limits how long he could be captured or injured before I could begin the search for him. It is also comforting to know when I will see him again. We have further established a spot in his room where he can leave a note if he has to leave it for unexpected reasons, and will meet on a weekly basis to discuss my security concerns.

He is a worthy man, and I shall strive to be worthy of serving him.

#### Coming up with a Plan. Lysithea.

Where are the ghosts coming from, and what do they want?

I have done research in the library, but the results are disappointing. Although there are ample tales of miracles and holy visitations, on the subject of non-saintly ghosts there’s not a lot. I don’t think the path between my room and the dining hall is holy ground, but maybe it used to be? It would make sense to rule that out. I search for histories of the monastery, and old blueprints.

The monastery is known to have extensive tunnels, so there might be something underground, holy or otherwise. It’s a short walk from my room to the dining hall, and I could at least check for obvious entrances during the day.

If I see them again, can I do anything about the ghosts directly? That could be the easy part, if I can keep from screaming like a baby and falling on my ass. If they can go through walls they probably won’t care about swords much, but people have fought ghosts and magical creatures before and magic has worked fine on many of them. If I don’t panic, I can just try incinerating them. If it doesn’t work, I can run. There’s always a guard on the front gate and it’s not too far away.

#### Toastie Ghosties. Bernadetta.

Lysithea invited me on a ghost hunting expedition! That’s so cool.

We went out three times this week on nights when we didn’t have to study and prowled around the dining hall. I think she looked kind of nervous the first night, but by the third night she looked pretty confident… and that was when the ghosts attacked!

We were on the northern end of the courtyard and had just turned right to approach that entrance to the dining hall when three glowing, white, translucent figures passed through the bushes and kind of reared up at us, waving their arms at us. They made a noise halfway between a humming and the wind whistling between the trees. I hopped on my toes and started to say, “Oh my gosh, are you real gh-?”

I didn’t get to finish it, though. Lysithea jerked back and yelped “No!”, but then she set her feet and sprayed them with fire. It stuck to them a little bit as it passed through them. Then they shredded apart and evaporated and that was it. I guess I should feel sorry for them, but are there any stories about happy ghosts? I think mostly they’re sad or want you to do something.

“Aww, Ly, you fried them before I could talk to them or get a good look at them!”

Lysithea panted a bit, steadying herself with her arm. “Uh- I’m sorry, Bernie.”

I panicked! Was that rude? She was probably just scared. I wish I could be that brave like her. “Ack! I’m sorry, Lysithea, I didn’t mean- I mean-“

“No, It’s OK, Bernie, I…”

“No it isn’t! Ghosts attacked you and you friend them and it was really cool and all I’m doing is thinking about myself and I’m terr-“

“No! Bernadetta.” She shook her head and stood up straight again, and looked right at me. She was kind of… smiling and looking sad at the same time? “I’m the one who should be sorry.”

“What? No you-“

“No, wait. I didn’t tell you the truth.”

“What?”

“These things attacked me twice before when I was out here walking. I should have told you, so that you’d know what risks you were taking. I just… I needed you here so I could be brave.”

I made her brave? “I… That’s…”

“I’m so sorry! Please forgive me!”

I made her brave! I was useful! “No, please. I’m glad I could be helpful. I… want to help you. Like a friend! I’m sorry I was thinking about myself like some ter-“

“Bernadetta.” She looked down and smiled and sighed. “Thank you. You were very helpful.” She sniffed and swore, turned around, then swore again and started swatting at the smoldering shrubbery behind her.

“Damn it. Um. I need to learn some ice magic.” I didn’t know she swore.

“It’s not really burning that badly. We can just, uh, get some water from the dining hall?”

We did, then she drew a knife from her belt and started cutting away the most burnt bits of the bush.

“Why are you doing that?”

She glanced back at me. “To make the damage less obvious. I’ll-“

Oh no. “Oh no! We damaged school property! They’ll notice it, I know they will and they’ll kick us out! They’ll-“

“Bernadetta.” I stopped. She’s got a good exasperated tone. “Bernadetta, it’s my fault. I’ll take responsibility wh-“

“No, I can’t let you do that! We’re friends and I was here! Bernie can’t be a bad friend! I should-“

“Bernadetta.” She was definitely looking more exhausted and less amused. “Let me finish. They won’t kick us out, and I’m not hiding the evidence for real. I just want a day to figure out what I’m going to tell Claude or the professor. It will be OK. It’s just a bush and this is a school for nobles and the elite. They won’t kick us out for damaging a bush.”

I… I guess it will be OK?

“You don’t need to do anything. You probably won’t even hear about this again, unless Hanneman wants you to tell him about the ghosts because he thinks they’re exciting like you do.”

“I.. OK, Lysithea. I…”

“Please? Just trust me?”

“Oh, no! I trust you! Really! I just-“ She sighed again, then shook her head.

“No, feel how you want to feel. I shouldn’t have dragged you into this without telling you.”

Now I was making her feel bad! “No, Ly, it’s OK! You’re right. I can be brave. It’ll be OK! I…” I made myself smile at her. “We did it.”

She laughed. Oh, thank goodness. “I guess we did.” She chuckled again and gestured at the pile of burnt branch trimmings in the bucket from the dining hall. “I really toasted them, didn’t I?”

Hehe. Toastie ghosties!

#### Not That Simple. Lysithea.

I went out the next night, and the ghosts attacked me again. I was worried about that. The library might not have much to say about spirits that don’t go gracefully into the arms of the goddess, but in stories they often want something and keep coming back until they get it. In scholarly texts, they’re usually there because of an object or enchanted location that summons them, or because someone cast a spell to make them appear. I just made these one go away, without addressing the cause.

This time, there were six of them. It was hard to stay calm without a friend, but I did it once and I fought back. I only got four of them, but instead of pouncing on me the other two started running away! Are they smart enough to get scared?

I had to work up my nerve, but after a moment I ran after them. They weren’t moving all that fast and when I went after them I caught up enough to see them sinking into the wall of the stairs at the base of the sauna. Where are they going?

I lingered around the stairs until there was nobody nearby and checked. There was some loose masonry, and I can see open air behind the stones.

What’s in there?

#### An Unscratched Itch. Lysithea.

What should I do next?

I don’t want to go off into some dark ghost tunnel all alone by myself, or even with Bernie, but I don’t want to ask for help, either. I started this. I stood up to the ghosts and fought them off! I can do this and the discoveries will be mine, and everyone will know I solved a mystery and I didn’t need any help from the older students at all to do it.

I need better research materials. It’s not so much an open secret as just in the open that the Church suppresses books. Some of those texts may be able to tell me more about either the history of the monastery or more about ghosts.

Tomorrow I’ll poke around the library and see if I can find any religious scholars who might be sympathetic to a student trying to write a paper that just needs a better sources. There’s nothing suspicious about that, and I can promise to let them have the final edit on my paper if they ask so that they won’t think I’ll write anything forbidden.

If it doesn’t pan out, I can give up and tell Edelgard. I think she’ll respect that I fought off the ghosts, and that’s worth something.

#### An Interruption. Dedue.

Tonight as we walked to our weekly cake night Bernadetta stopped and lingered, looking at something.

“Is something wrong?” I inquired.

“No! Uh…” she trailed off.

“Very well.” I resumed walking, but she remained, staring at a bush.

“No! It’s just- I-“. Bernadetta looked flustered. This would hardly be uncommon for her during the day, but on our evening outings? Unusual. “I guess she didn’t really swear me to secrecy, but…”

“You need not tell me.”

She startled. “Oh! I don’t!” She glanced in the direction of the dining hall, but didn’t move. “It’s just… don’t you think they’d fix the bushes around here, if they got damaged? They’ve got lots of gardeners.”

I looked at the bush from where I stood. It was a bit uneven.

“I suppose. It is a large facility. They may have other priorities than minor damage to a bush.”

“I… guess…” She looked uncertain. I waited.

“No. This is a happy time and this is our time and not my her-time.” Bernadetta braced herself for a moment, then walked over to my side. She nervously reached out as if to grab my hand and walk me to the dining hall, but froze and jerked it sharply back to her side.

She took a few steps ahead of me and waved for me to follow. “Come on! I want my cake!”

Would it be rude if I got something else? Maybe I’ll ask next time. I enjoy these visits but I am tired of cake. I nodded and followed her.

“Bernie?”, I asked.

“Yes?”

“If you need help, I am available.”

She glanced down and smiled shyly.

“I know.”

“As long as it does not conflict with my other obligations.”

This prompted a much larger smile and she looked right at me. Why is she happy that I cannot fully support her?

“I know.”

#### Am I Contagious? Bernadetta.

I was up late studying and hungry, so I went out to the dining hall again. Maybe just some rolls this time- I can’t eat sugar all the time. Well, I could, but it doesn’t sound fun.

As I was walking home with a few spare rolls in my hands, one of the ghosts leaped from the bushes at me!

They aren’t all burnt up!

I ran towards it. “Oh my goddess! Who killed you? What’s it like being dead? I-“

It froze. Did I scare it? Is it like me too? That’s sad. Did it have a terrible father too? I know it’s silly, but I remembered what I thought with Lysithea: am I contagious?

I stumbled to a halt, and it suddenly flew away up the courtyard. Darn.

I didn’t chase it, though. That would be mean.

#### The Librarian. Lysithea.

The first day poking around the clergy was a failure. All of my hints about needing to see rarer texts fell upon deaf- or willfully deaf- ears. I was hoping to find the librarian, Tomas, but nobody seemed to know where he was. I wasn’t quite ready to ask for what I wanted straight out, but I was starting to think it was that or give up.

The second day, however, one of the clergy approached me. He was an old man dressed in a uniform of neutral tones that reminded me of Tomas’s robes. Another librarian?

“You seem to be looking for something, young lady. Can I help you?”

That was convenient. “Yes, I hope you can. I’m doing research for a paper on the history of magical burial practices in the monastery.”

The man smiled “Hanneman’s got you students chasing his hobby horses again, does he?”

Oh, thank the goddess, I thought. My story was plausible! I forced a self-deprecating chuckle.

“Yes! I mean, he’s a good professor, but…” I dialed it back a notch and put on a straight face. “It’s a good subject of study for a student like myself to learn.”

“Of course, of course.” He smiled conspiratorially. “He’s a good professor and I’m sure you’re very interested in the subject. Interested in joining the church?”

It’s more plausible if it’s true, so I said, “I’m more into magecraft than matters of faith, but some advanced tombs are known to incorporate magical devices. Learning how to craft magical items is of interest to me.”

Is that too long? He’s not saying anything. I start talking again. “You know, like doing something to protect the tomb from wear and tear. Or keep grave robbers out. Or for someone really important, maybe to bind their spirit to protect or bless the area?” Internally, I flinched. Too obvious!

He smiled again, patiently. “Well, that sounds like an interesting paper.” Am I just boring him? “I assume you’ve tried the library?”

“Well, yes. I can show you my list of references so far, if you’d like.” I could I did lay my groundwork here.

“Is it going well?”

“Well, I’ve got enough to write a paper, but it’s not interesting or insightful. I was wondering if a member of the church might know of other books I could use in my research.”

“I assume you asked Professor Hanneman?”

“Yes. He had some recommendations, but he said the church is protective about the handling of the dead.” Damn. In hindsight, I should have asked Hanneman first. That’s what a student would have done. It might have worked, and it would have given me more details for my cover story. “So I came here to see if I might find…” Not forbidden books. Not forbidden books! “… a religious scholar who could direct my research.”

“I see. Well, I think most of our scholars might be a bit too busy to help the students with their schoolwork, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask.” No luck, I thought. “I, however, might be of assistance. I’m a librarian of some of the monastery’s more… protected texts.” Jackpot!

I didn’t want to see too eager. “Protected?”

“Well, not that protected. I’d need to fill out some paperwork, but I know of a book or two that could help.”

“Could you? It would be a big help.” I beamed at him. Just an excited student, really!

“No promises, but come back tomorrow around this time.”

“I can do that! Thanks! Do you have an office or something I could meet you at?”

“Not in this building. It would be easier to just meet me around here. I’m documenting and reorganizing some bookshelves on this floor, so I’ll be around.”

I can do that.

“As a warning, you may need to let the men that sign off on the books review your paper before you share it with anyone else.”

I smiled my most grateful smile. “Of course.”

#### Disquiet. Dedue.

Bernadetta’s midnight snacking must be contagious, because I went to the dining hall alone tonight for a light, late second meal. I have promised to do better, but as I walked by Bernadetta’s bush my soul was disquieted and I went closer to look. It was, indeed, uneven. I wouldn’t have noticed it in the dark save for the acrid hint of burnt wood in the air, but there was charring near the bits of the bush that had been cut away. I do not like seeing this.

Uneasy, after my meal I went for a walk past the stables, then around the front gate, down by the fishing pond, intending to return to my room. The pond rippled gently in the wind, but my uneasy gaze searched the walkway above the pond. I saw a silhouette in a dark robe, looking out in the direction of the dormitory. I stopped and squinted to convince myself I saw a figure there, and it shifted slightly. I think it glanced at me.

There may be a good reason for him to be here, but His Highness sleeps within that dormitory and it is reasonable for me to ask. I went up the stairs to question him, but by the time I reached the top the walkway was empty.

#### An Adventure. Bernadetta.

She’d missed last week and I was starting to think she didn’t want to hang out with me anymore, but Lysithea asked me out for midnight snacks again. Now I wish she hadn’t.

“I’ve been reading a book about sacred tombs in the monetary,” said Lysithea, “investigating our ghost problem.”

I never told her! “I saw them again!” I was so excited. “One came to me and I tried to ask them questions and it just floated away!” Now I could be the one with the exciting stories!

She waved it away. “Yeah, I saw them again too. But I was reading this book…” Oh.

“… I think I’ve figured out which ghosts these are.”

“Oh.”

“The book’s about famous tombs of the monastery. Underground, on the northern end of the monastery, there’s the tomb of Cardinal Gloucester. He’s a descendent of the Ten Elites and he served in the church and apparently defeated some terrible monster- the book didn’t have much to say about it beside some unpronounceable name for it. After his famous battle, he later rose to the rank of Cardinal in the church and led an order of holy warriors.”

“Oh.” Distantly I felt like I should be acting interested. Did I want her to think I wasn’t interested in her? What if she starts thinking I’m boring and rude? I couldn’t, though. I stared at the table and felt a sinking feeling in my stomach instead.

“He was later buried with his six greatest disciples in a holy tomb.”

“Oh.” I sound so stupid, I thought.

“And I have the crest of Gloucester! The ghosts must be coming for me. The must need something. They never really attacked me, did they? I was just scared and attacked them without properly assessing the situation first.”

“They didn’t attack me, either.” That’s useful information, right?

She kept talking. “We should see what they want! It’s scary, but you can come with me and help me. And if I’m wrong, I can just toast them!”

“Sure, Lysithea.”

“I followed them and they sank into the wall by the sauna stairs. I looked at the wall and it’s just a wall of stones with open air behind it. It must be one of the monastery’s tunnels! We can go in and see what the ghosts want!”

“Shouldn’t we tell someone about this, Lysithea?” Why did I keep saying her name like that?

“What if it scares away the ghosts? They came to me. If we come with a big group of random people they might not show up. They need me!”

“I guess.”

“We need to break open that wall, though. I could blast it, but I’d like to be subtle. And after we’ve gone in and seen what the ghosts want, we can tell everyone, just like you want. Maybe we could get a metal bar to pry the stones with.”

“Yeah. Um.” I had an idea, and I hated it as soon as I thought of it.

“What?”

“I know someone who could help.”

I’m going on an adventure. Yay.

#### Not Good. Dedue.

Bernadetta summoned me for the strangest task. In the middle of the night, she had me meet her by the sauna and break open a wall for her. Lysithea was there with her, and looked at me strangely.

“I didn’t know you two knew each other.”

“Well, we do.” Bernadetta replied, unenthusiastically.

Lysithea cocked her at me, like she'd discovered something unusual. “How’d you meet? I didn’t think anyone knew Dedue well, besides Dimitri.”

In a flat, low voice Bernadetta replied. “It was a thing.” Something was wrong. “A misunderstanding. But we eat together sometime?”

“Oh, like us?”

I swear my timid Bernie scowled ferociously for a minute. Quickly, however, she turned her face away from the two of us. “No. Yes. I guess. Can we open the wall already?”

I expressed concerns about opening the wall, but Lysithea was insistent that this was a harmless favor and wouldn’t cause any trouble for anyone. That she would explain everything to the church staff tomorrow so that they’d know she did it and could repair it.

I did not want to do this, but I owed Bernadetta a debt. I moved the stones. They were loose and offered little resistance beyond their weight.

“Do you want me to come with you?”, I asked Bernadetta.

Lysithea replied instead. “Don’t bother. We don’t need you. You’re probably too big for the tunnels anyway.” I looked to Bernadetta, but she didn’t meet my eyes.

This is not good.

#### A Discovery. Lysithea.

We went into the tunnel. It had several branches, but most tapered off into rubble fairly quickly. It was damp the walls were covered with black slime. After a while, the tunnel forked. One of the branches was walled off with a wooden barricade.

“Well, we know ghosts can go through that.” I pointed.

“Yeah.” Bernie looked at it briefly. “Yeah.”

“Let’s go the way that’s unblocked first. We can always go back.”

“Sure.” As I started to walk down the unblocked path, Bernadetta reached out and ran a finger along the barricade. “Huh. No slime.”

I shrugged and kept walking. We had to be almost there.

Paydirt! The tunnel eventually terminated in a stone wall, but a door-sized opening had been hammered through it. Beyond was a small square room. The wall had elaborate marble torch sconces, all empty. To the left there was a sturdy looking metal door. To the right, the wall was dominated by a large circular design that glowed faintly. Along the edges of the circle, the symbols for each crest at regular intervals.

Before the circle upon the floor, a square with some overlapping diamond patterns. Was this the tomb of Gloucester? Some sort of entrance?

I started to make a plan. There’s two things to investigate here. The circle is more interesting, but the tomb could be behind the door. I tugged the handle gently, but it didn’t turn.

Unless it’s a magic door, we can probably just force our way through. I asked, “Hey, Bernie, do you think your friend can break open this door for us, too?”

Her reply was surprisingly loud and sharp. “No! And you should tell your professor about breaking through that wall tomorrow morning." She got a bit quieter, and continued, "I should. I’d tell you that I was telling Seteth first thing in the morning myself, but I can’t even pretend I’m brave enough to do that.”

The change of topic caught me off guard. We were so close! I tried to get us back on track, saying, “I said I’d tell them tomorrow, didn’t I? But we should get through the wall first, and see what the ghosts want. Before everyone else crowds it up. Besides, don’t you want to be the first to discover this? Think of how impressed everyone will be with you!”

She didn’t say anything, so I continued. “This circle, though.” I looked it over. “And this tile on the floor.” I looked down at it. “I don’t want to play around with it until I’ve had a chance to study it, but I bet I can figure it out.”

“Yeah, I bet you could.” I suddenly realized she was mad at me. I wasn't trying to be mean!

“Bernie, is something wrong?”

“You’ll tell them about this tomorrow. Or maybe the next day,” she said in a low voice, staring at the wall.

“Yes! The next day! I just need a day to study this. We should check what’s behind that wooden barricade, too.”

“Did you tell them about the bush?” I still didn’t know what to say. She was mad about the bush?

“No, but I’ll tell them that too. After we solve this. Together!”

Bernadetta just shook her head. I got the impression she was crying.

“Bernie? Come on! We can do this!”

“THIS. IS. ALL. MY. FAULT!” she screamed, and ran from the tunnel.

I don’t know why she’s so angry about a stupid bush. I guess she’s always been a bit crazy and the bush has just become a thing. I’ll solve this, then we can have cake and I can talk to her and I can say I’m sorry about the bush. She spends a lot of time in her room anyway, so maybe she just wants to be alone anyway and I should just leave her alone until she’s ready to talk to me.

One thing at a time. I have a project to finish. I turned around and left the tunnel, planning the next day’s research.

#### Bernadetta.

I’m not going outside today.

#### The Wall. Dedue.

When I walked by the sauna on the way to training today, it looked like the wall had been repaired and I felt better.

Bernadetta was sad, however, so later I went back and looked closer. The rocks of the wall had just been stacked up. Carefully, to look intact, but not actually repaired. The staff could have done that to keep stray pets and children from entering the hole until they have repaired it. Would they not fence it off, as I’ve seen them do for other repairs?

I asked some groundskeepers about the damage and they said they hadn’t heard anything about it. They brought me to a mason, and he hadn’t either. He thanked me for pointing it out to him. He had the groundskeeper to put a wooden fence around it to keep people out until it could be repaired.

#### Something is Wrong. Lysithea.

I got through my classes, distracted with my plans, then borrowed some new books from Hanneman and the library. I went straight home for an all-nighter.

I would read as long as I could, then well before the sun comes up I would wait until nobody is outside the stairs and…

I stopped. Wait. This doesn’t make any sense.

#### A Terrible Friend. Bernadetta.

I’m a terrible friend. Maybe Lysithea is too, but I shouldn’t have abandoned her like that. Maybe she’s not and just got carried away, I’m just overreacting. Does she still want to hang out with me?

As the evening approached, there was a knock at the door. I pretended not to be there.

“Bernadetta?” He said. He knows my name! Maybe he doesn’t know I’m here.

“I know you’re there.”

Go. Away.

“Is your friend there? The little mage girl?”

Definitely. Go. Away.

“Please answer. I have something I need to give to her and I can’t find her. I thought I saw her by that tunnel by the sauna earlier today. I’ve been helping her research it, but I’ve just discovered that tunnel is terribly dangerous. Please let me tell you what I know. If she’s gone in there, her life could be in danger!”

I cracked the door open a bit. There was an old man in a gray and beige outfit outside.

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry to bother you, but I know you’ve been working with Lysithea on her research project. Could your friend have gone into the tunnel by herself? I saw her there earlier today,” the concerned old man asked. “I discovered some new information about her discovery and I think it might be dangerous.”

Oh no. Yes. Yes, she would have. All by herself.

#### The Pieces. Lysithea.

I have a theory, so I went to seek the librarian. Nobody knew anyone who looked like that or could tell me where his office might be, so I hung around where I met him before. It was a long wait, but eventually he came down the hallway. We saw each other at the same time.

“Oh, Lysithea!” He smiled. “How goes your reading?”

“I found it, I think.”

“Oh, did you?”

“Yes.”

“That’s very exciting!” He paused, and when I said nothing he continued. “And… what did you find in it?”

“Nothing in it, yet. I went down the tunnel and found a giant circle with crest marks on it, in front of a platform. I think it can be activated to teleport the people on it.”

“Very interesting. Did you try to activate it?”

“No, I wanted to research it first. Playing with magical devices I don’t understand could be dangerous. I have some questions I was hoping you would help me with.”

“Of course, my dear, of course.” He smiled widely and made an inviting gesture. “Let’s find an empty room so I can rest my old bones and let’s talk about it.” We walked until we found an unused room and went in.

He remained standing and leaned forward eagerly. “So, how can I help you?”

“Why is it that you think all of the crests were on the circle, if this was a special tomb for Gloucester?”

“Why, I don’t know.” He made an exaggerated shrug of bewilderment. I had thought I knew what I was doing, but I feel a cold chill down my spine. “Perhaps there’s a tomb for each of the ten elites?”

It wasn’t a very convincing explanation. I was pretty sure I had a better one, but we’d get there so I let it pass. “And the saints, I suppose. Hmm. You’d think that book would have mentioned it.”

He says nothing, so I continued. “And you’re OK with me barging into the sacred tomb of Gloucester, just like that? Wouldn’t the church like to control access to things like that?”

He winked and the conspiratorial smile from our previous conversation made a second appearance. “Well, yes, but I’m so curious. Don’t you want to be the first to know? We can tell the church about it afterwards.”

“It was awfully nice of you to just lend me a proscribed tomb, the day after you met me.”

“For a gifted student such as yourself? Exceptions can be made.”

He was still smiling, but it had frozen into something colder on his face. He knew I know.

I feigned calm and replied, quickly and sternly. “Doubtful. And the book you gave me. Exactly the information I needed, right there on the first try.”

“We got lucky. I’m helpful with books. I’m a librarian. It’s what I do.”

“And Gloucester. The book you gave me mentioned a bunch of tombs, but just now I said ‘the sacred tomb of Gloucester’ and you just accepted that like it was what you were expecting all along. You must know that book really well.”

“I do love reading.” It was a long, drawling, sarcastic ‘o’. I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. Why wasn’t he worried? I had come here to play cat and mouse with him. Make him contradict himself. Why did I feel like the mouse?

I told myself I could do this, just like the ghosts. I sighed and tilted my head cockily at him. “Are we really going to keep doing this?”

“Why ever not, my dear? It is oh so much fun.”

It came to me that I should fry him, right then and there. I pressed on instead. “And then Bernie. I should have listened to her. Why’d you send the ghosts at her? She doesn’t have a crest of Gloucester.”

“I didn’t send anything but if I was to speculate, you weren’t fast enough to go into the tunnel. Something had to happen to keep you children interested.

“I don’t get distracted.”

“Maybe. You can miss a lot that way.”

“In the tunnel, too. There wasn’t any slime on the barricade. Bernie pointed it out. Why? The wood should hold moisture better than the stone. It’s probably more porous. It should mold too, and probably mold more. You built it to steer us in the right direction.”

“True, every word.” He laughed. “Oh, I could have saved a lot of time and done this the easy way right up front. It would have been faster, if not as entertaining.”

The easy way? “You don’t work here. I’ve had a lot of time waiting for you here and I spent it asking after you. Nobody seems to know who you might be or where your office is.”

“I suppose I could claim to be a recluse. Like your friend.” In the back of my head, a little voice started saying something, but I pushed it aside.

“Why me? Why don’t you just do this yourself?”

“Because we need someone of your particular talents. Your particular crests, to be specific. A major one.”

“How do you know about my crests?”

“I could have asked Hanneman, but I guess we’re done ‘doing this’.” He chuckled and did an approximation of a gleeful skip, pacing the room like a confident predator. Then he spoke.

“Because we made you, girl. And when we learned what we wanted we discarded you because we knew we could make better. It might seem a mistake to be so careless with one’s tools, but look where it got us. By happy coincidence you, here, now. In our hands without a struggle, inside the gates of this fortress without the need to smuggle you in.”

Them. I choked back vomit and forced myself to stay standing.

I knew it wouldn’t work. I had so many pieces of the puzzle, more than I thought I needed, but I was missing one. I tried anyway. “It’s over. Surrender or I’ll burn you to ashes. And if I can’t, there’s guards and priests throughout this entire building. You’ll never escape.”

“I’ve got more tricks than you know, girl. They won’t catch me. That’s not going what is to happen now, however.”

No, it’s not, I thought. “Why not?” 

He loomed forward. “Because earlier today, I paid a visit to your friend. She’s very worried about her friend. She went chasing after you into that tunnel to save you and we were there, waiting for her. Now you’re going to quietly come with me, and when nobody is looking we’ll go into the tunnel. You’ll open the path for us, and maybe if I’m feeling generous then once we have what I want you and your friend can be let go. You of all people should know we do that, sometimes.”

There’s the piece.

#### Again. Bernadetta.

They were waiting for me in the tunnel. I heard hissed words and everything went black.  


When I woke up, I was tied up in a dark tunnel. I heard footsteps nearby, but I didn’t bother to look up. I was there, again, tied up. It wasn’t enough that most nights I can’t go to sleep without remembering this, it has to keep happening.

They don’t know me. They don’t know just how terrible they’re being. They aren’t my family, they’re just monsters in the dark.

I wanted to scream and cry, but I am very, very good at staying silent. I have had lots of practice. I waited. Calm breaths. It’s been worse than this before. I survived then and I can survive this. 

I’ve been through worse than this before. My father isn’t anywhere near here.

#### In The Dark. Lysithea.

The librarian led me to the tunnel and we went in. He pulled out something that glowed. It was dim, but he moved surefootedly in the dark and I followed. Eventually we reached the fork again. The wooden barricade was gone.

“Your friend is right down there.” He gestured down the newly opened path. “Not unguarded, lest you get any ideas about attacking me and freeing her. Do what I want and we’ll let you both go.” He gestures towards the crest room. “Onward, my dear.”

“Show me that she’s alive.”

“Do as I say or we’ll kill you both.”

“I want proof that she’s alive, or you can just kill me here.” I sat down on the floor of the tunnel.

“If you insist, my dear.” I stood, and we walk down the new passage together. There was a man in a dark robe standing in the shadows. When he saw the librarian he bowed slightly and turned away from us, hiding his face. At his feet, Bernadetta was tied up on the ground.

#### Bernadetta.

“Bernie?”

It was her. I wondered if she’d been here all along.

“Bernie?”

“Lysithea!”

“I’m sorry! I tried to rescue you, but I just made a mess of it. Did you escape?”

“It was a trick. I wasn’t in here. I’m here now. I’m coming.”

Oh, I thought, I’m bait. It felt good for a moment- she came for me- but then it passed and I was still angry at her.

Lysithea spoke again. “I’m sorry. They want something down past the circle. I’m going to get it for them and they’ll let us go.”

Fine, I thought. Do what you have to do.

“Okay.”

#### Where are You? Dedue. 

I didn’t have any solid proof, just like before with the letters, but before bed I checked the wall a third time. It was still open, with the wooden barricade around it.

What reason would they have to go there?

There is a simple solution, I thought. I will ask them.

I knocked on Bernadetta’s door. She was not there. I knocked on Lysithea’s door. She was not there. I went to the dining hall, and they were not there either.

#### I’ll Make This Better. Lysithea.

“We’ll stand on the platform together, child. Just put your hand on the Gloucester crest, and it will take us to where it goes. Halfway done.”

“Who put this here?”

The librarian grinned eagerly. “Meddling Saint Indech. He knew what would be stored here, and it seemed like such a waste to lock up these useful tools where he couldn’t get at them and put them to use. So, he made himself a back door that he or some goddess-touched minion of his could use to get at them, just in case he decided he wanted to build something with them. 

“Tools?”

“Crest stones. Crest stones that will soon be mine.” His eyes were distant and he wrung his fingers together eagerly, then he remembered that I was there and snapped back into focus. “Enough stalling, girl. Get to it!”

I’m sorry, Bernadetta, I thought. I’ll make this better. As soon as we get out.

#### Checking In. Dedue. 

Dimitri hadn’t gone to bed yet. As I knew he would be, he was sitting in his room maintaining his weapons. He has the time, but he never gets enough sleep- he’s always awake late into the evening, preparing like there will be a battle in the morning. I feel much the same.

I told him everything.

“It’s not really a lot to go on, Dedue,” he said, “but where are the girls?”

“I don’t know. I am afraid for them.”

He nodded. “Let’s go check out that tunnel of yours.”

#### A Shout. Bernadetta.

I heard a shout.

“Bernadetta!” Dedue!

The monster watching me was faster than me. He hissed some words and runes shimmered around me. When I shouted, no words come out.

I failed. I was worthless.

Calm breaths.

The monster muttered and glanced at me, then walked rapidly up the tunnel away from me. I was alone.

I had been waiting quietly for a while, and I’d had more time to think. I don’t think waiting here will save me. My father at least had use for me. He wanted to marry me off. Once Lysithea has done what they want her to do, why would they need us?

I didn’t have a knife to cut myself free. I asked myself how long would it take to rub the ropes against the rocks. Probably too long.

There wasn’t much to tie me up to here in the tunnels, though. I was just on the ground, not attached to anything. Slowly, I started to inch my way deeper into the tunnels.

#### Unwanted Guests. Lysithea.

As I reached for the crest on the circle, I heard a shout. “Bernadetta!” Was that Dedue?

“Not. A. Word.” hissed the librarian.

The librarian looked back towards the tunnels and hesitated. After a moment, a hunched, pallid man approached. I knew it was them, but I still had to fight off another wave of nausea at seeing one undisguised.

The new one spoke. “We’ve got guests. Keep working. I’ll distract them.”

The librarian nodded. “Be quick. What about our hostage?”

“She’s tied up. She’s not going anywhere.”

The new man muttered some words, and suddenly he didn’t look like one of them anymore. He looked like a monastery guard. He ran off.

“Hurry,” the librarian commanded me, “we need to finish quickly. If your friends discover us and get away, we’ll have no choice but to kill you both to conceal what has been done.”

I reached forward and touch the crest, and the world shimmered in front of me.

#### I Trust You. Dedue. 

Before we leave, we woke Ashe and send him to tell the night watch what is happening. It would be foolish to risk turning two vanished students into four. Dimitri and I then ran to the sauna tunnel. The fence was still there, but behind it the wall was open again. I slide the fence aside, and the two of us entered the tunnel together.

Halfway down, a guard intercepted us. “Halt! By the order of the Archbishop.” We stopped. “This is church property.”

Dimitri took the lead. “We’re looking for two friends of ours. We think they may have come exploring the tunnel out of curiosity and gotten lost.”

The guard shook his head. “We’ve been watching this tunnel for half a day now. Nobody has been in here.”

Had I made another mistake? I looked to Dimitri.

“I trust you,” he said.

#### A Few More Pieces. Lysithea.

On the other side of the teleporter was an enormous, windowless chamber. A raised throne on the wall to our left overlooked the contents of the room: columns and caskets in two rows down the middle of the room, with more at the edges.

“I did it!” The librarian crowed in triumph.

Behind us, I briefly see the circle on the wall, then it faded from view. I tapped the wall curiously, and the circle flickered back into view. The librarian watched, but doesn’t stop me. 

He nodded. “Good. It wouldn’t make sense if it was one-way, but if it was getting out would be a lot harder. Don’t touch it again.” He gestured towards a wall fixture. “I’m going to tie you up until I’ve gotten the stones.”

I assessed the situation. He didn’t want to have watch his back while he takes the stones, but he couldn’t kill me without destroying his key out of there. I was ready.

I stomped and made the most girlish squeal of frustration I could manage. “You won’t get away with this!” Behold the tantruming schoolgirl.

The librarian started to raise a hand to strike when I moved, but calmed down when I squeal. Got you, you bastard. “I don’t see why not. But if I won’t, then you have nothing to lose by co-operating, do you?” The confident smile returned. The arm lowered to his side and he relaxed.

As fast as I can, I burnt him. He wasn’t entirely unprotected- he survived and wasn’t on fire- but he was burnt and knocked down on his butt.

“Wh- what?” The librarian scooted backwards on the ground. I felt wonderful.

It would have been safer to end it, but I needed to be sure. I paused, and waited for it.

He started posturing on cue. “Get back to work NOW, or your friend dies. If you get it done quickly, maybe I’ll forget about this little tantrum.”

That’s what I wanted to hear. “Oh, will you?” He hesitated. “You asked your friend about the hostage before. Interestingly, he didn’t say she was being watched. He said she was tied up.”

There was silence.

“There’s only two of you here right now, aren’t there?” His face tightened and involuntarily jerked to the side.

“And your friend is busy dealing with our rescuers, right? If I hurry, you don’t have anyone watching her right now. And he’s all the way over there,” I pointed to the wall, “so you can’t even warn him.”

He spat out some words and made a gesture. I flinched, but I was pretty sure he wasn’t going to kill his key out of there. I was right; nothing happened. He blinked and looks at me, lying on the floor open-mouthed. Got you good, I thought.

“Is it time for your little tricks? The ones that made you so sure you could escape if I raised the alarm by the library?” I was gloating. “I figured it out. You can warp, right? To your friend, now? Away, outside, then? Into a convenient escape tunnel?”

Silence. He closed his jaw and tried to compose himself.

I continued. “You know what I’m pretty sure you can’t do? Warp through these walls, into here.” I gestured around the room. “You wouldn’t need me if you could.”

My self-indulgence was a mistake. He figured out what comes next and managed to get off his spell a split second before mine. The toxic miasma burned into me even as I cause the air around him to ignite. It hurt, but he wasn’t the only one who can defend himself. I had some chemical burns and a stained dress. He was ash, explosively dispersing in the wind.

I ran back to the wall and slapped the crest with my hand.

#### I Would Have Gotten Away With it, Too. Dedue. 

“Orders of the archbishop?”

“Yes.”

“And they posted you here, in the middle of the tunnel? Not at the entrance?”

The guard hesitated to reply for a minute, but I did not. Questions could come after he was disarmed. I rushed him and pinned him against the wall, his spear arm held helplessly off to the side.

The guard grunted, briefly stunned, but twisted in my grasp. His appearance twisted, too, into something else. I get a brief glimpse of a gray, malformed face, then he whispered a spell and dissolved from my grasp in a shimmer of light. I HATE that tactic. 

“Did you see that?”, I asked my liege.

“Yes. He warped away. I don’t think many guards can do that. You were right.”

“No. Did you see his face?”

Dimitri shrugged and shook his head. “Sorry. It all happened so fast. I didn’t even draw my sword. We should work out a code word for the next time.”

“A good idea.” I nodded out of habit, but my mind was racing. There was no time for this. The danger was real. “I’m sorry, highness, but we must…” I gestured down the tunnel.

“Of course.”

We ran.

#### Practice. Bernadetta.

Further up the tunnel there was a sizzling noise flash of light. The monster was back.

I wasn’t there anymore. I had inched my way down the tunnel and found a little nook along the wall where the ceiling presses down. I curled up in it, my black clothes mixing with the black slime in the black of the dark. If I’m silent, I thought, I’ll be very hard to see.

I’m good at being silent. I’ve had a lot of practice.

The monster paced angrily down the tunnel, searching for me, but then we heard the echo of heavy boots and metal armor from further up. He swore and sprinted down the tunnel, into the depths.

Dedue, Dimitri, and Lysithea passed me a few minutes later, yelling my name. I allowed myself one more brief moment alone, then shouted back.

#### Debriefing. Dedue.

The night watch and most of the Blue Lions were waiting for us as we left the tunnel. We told the guards what had happened. The incident in the tunnel must have been important, because eventually a bishop was summoned to question us, and after him the Archbishop came in person to question us.

It would be a shocking indignity, but when she learned of the passage that Lysithea discovered Lady Rhea’s expression made me half-expect an outburst of profanity. Instead, she composed herself and smiled a tight smile. As she walked away after the interrogation, I heard her tell the bishop with dangerous cheer, “Well, we will be tying up *that* loose end.”

Although the archbishop is rightly angered me for my role in this breach of monastery security, I am content. I have honored my obligations to my friends, and the situation with the letters did not repeat itself.

#### After. Bernadetta.

Dedue was so apologetic that he showed up too late to save me, and I’m not sure he believed me when I told him he did. I don’t think he believes that he could save the day just by showing up. He didn’t get to chop anyone up!

Lysithea was apologetic, too. I know she didn’t do anything too bad, but when I see her now I feel sick and can’t talk to her. She was at the dining hall last night and I waved because it was easier than pretending to not see her, but I sat at a different table. I wish things were better between us.

When she heard what happened, Edelgard wanted all to know all of the details. I froze up but she kept asking and I eventually ran away. She apologized later, but whenever I’m around her because of my classes, I can feel her holding the questions back.

I need to be alone for a while.

#### Tonight. Dedue. 

Bernadetta cancelled our next midnight outing following the incident, with no small degree of anxiety. I left a note under her door the following week telling her that it was acceptable if she did not want to meet again at our usual time, but that I was available when she wanted to spend time together again. Another week passed in silence.

Yesterday, she asked me if I wanted to grab a snack tonight. I’m not certain either of us said an entire word throughout the meal, but when we were done eating she smiled. We both stood up, she hugged me, and we walked home to our separate rooms in silence.

Tonight was a cake night with Bernadetta, and it was good night.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to whaleandjanuary for helping me proofread this and providing feedback.
> 
> If you're wondering why Hubert can teleport out of the Holy Tomb in the game and not in the story, I'm asserting that the shielding only works when the doors are closed and the room is sealed up.


End file.
